Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I never had a birthday party

I never had a birthday party- never an organized one- the kind one goes for, when a friend has a birthday. Book a venue, order a cake, send out invitations!
(yes, we had that way back when I was a kid and theme parties at clubs and hotels were possible... though we did not have a Pizza Hut or a Party station with all the pizzas and the gadgetry, but we could have the themes!and the good food)

So while most of my friends in school would look forward to their birthday party and think about where and how, I used to just sit around idly, for the pleasure would never be mine.

There is a very different reason for me or my siblings never having an organized birthday party. When I say 'organized', please note it will prolly be the most important clue to understanding how we actually celebrated our birthdays!

First of all, on why we never had an organized birthday party. Our parents were well off, they had a rocking social circle, they used to host many parties, dinners, card parties, the works, but never a birthday party. They had the uncanny feeling that it would bring us bad luck, even death. As was their nature and their habit of waxing exuberant with their emotions and their money, they told me they had thrown a lavish birthday party for their son, older than all of us, and he passed away soon after. Since then, as I was born, and after me, my sister and brother, they tried to stay off everything they had done for their first son. And we lived in the hollow of their palms till we grew up and if our parents had their way, they would still be holding our hand and leading us safely. A small scrape on my knee while playing basket ball would drive them into a tizzy! When on such occasions, I used to look into my father's eyes, I could see his fear of losing his precious daughter; and now I understand why- then, I was so young and so stupid, I used to mistake it for just orthodox possessiveness, you know.

So we grew up and while we learnt to socialize and circulate, and our parents learnt to let go and have faith in God, we still could not organize a birthday party. But, on our birthday we would wake up to delicious smells of baking and Indian cooking, which our parents would be doing for our friends who would come in unannounced later in the evening and stay back for our unorganized party. Those days, we used to remember dates and phone numbers- our memories were bigger and better then, and there were no digital diaries or mobile phones to store these or send out e cards or MMS.

So our friends would remember and troop in, dressed in party clothes and then we would ask them to stay and then the cake and the food would surpass any organized effort we could have made.

Often, friends we had not met for years would just remember and come by- and there always was cake and food for them too!

While we knew they all were coming, we pretended they were not invited, and while we got ready for them, we pretended we were not ready!

So we grew up, every birthday being an unorganized party, but a rocking one!AND DID WE LOVE IT!

6 comments:

Ankur said...

really nice one didi!

Unknown said...

Well said Didi!

truevoiceofpeople said...

As always, i was so immersed in your beautiful piece, reading & feeling the words

truevoiceofpeople said...

As always, i was so immersed in your beautiful piece, reading & feeling the words

truevoiceofpeople said...

As always, i was so immersed in your beautiful piece, reading & feeling the words

DOLLY SAXENA said...

Thank you so much.