Saturday, January 5, 2013

Yes, I love my India but.....

I am ashamed. I hang my head in silence. Should I come face to face with Nirbhaya's parents, I dont think I would know what to say. I am haunted by the feeling of utter desolation each time I think of her. I am so amazed that we did not estimate the extent of depravity we could cultivate or which exists among our people, our men? the six men for instance?
Each time i think I am a woman just like Nirbhaya, something snaps inside me. I feel suffocated. Each time I think she went away so hurt, my heart cries out. All religions advocate peaceful dying; for her it was hell alive. I am sure she had her dreams and she had her fears, but like this?
Every morning when the papers announce some new facet of the three weeks old case or throw light on some hitherto redundant fact, I cry. My entire day is spent silently thinking how that child must have suffered. We can build temples, and state laws in her name, but she is gone. And each temple and each law named after her is more pain for her grieving parents. No one is brave like that- we are all human.
Instead of just sitting around and feeling bad, I chide myself- what is it that I can do to help India become honorable? I dont want to contest elections. I just want to make a difference. Tell me how, please tell me how. Right now, I am ashamed of my India.