An outcome of a discussion I participated in, at my friend's house. This one's for you, Anu!
After returning from the discussion, I had a date with my thoughts, or can we say, mind, this afternoon. Just me and my thoughts. And I feel on top of the world at this moment.I feel like I belong more than ever; and that its worth going through all the trouble of living this life because the whole experience enriches and prepares me for the next quantum leap into my future.I also feel that I have researched by speaking honestly and truthfully to my mind and found so many absolutely new, unexpressed paradigms in a deep dark unexplored ocean surrounded by submerged paradoxes and gestalts.And all these threaten to shape my destiny- because what you do and how you live life shapes your destiny!
You will be surprised to know what I found... I found a sea of unexpressed, hitherto kept hidden true stories. Stories on how I feel about religion, views on how I interpret the Supreme Being, my belief in the LHC(Large Hadron Collider) or even how much I respect Darwin. Even found stories about my secret aspirations to become an occult- a soothsayer, a crystal ball gazer. Somewhere in between was the thought of wearing a raw silk sari with a big red bindi and making millions!:)
How I look at ethics also was discussed with my mind- and why cooking with love tastes better was thrown up for discussion inside my head.
Often logic confronted idealistic thinking, and reason confronted emotions. So obviously, the head confronted the heart. Somewhere in the middle of all this, spirituality gave a tiny call for attention. Why are we here and what are we doing? I don't know where I am coming from, and I don't know where I am going. All I know is, that while I am here, would it be good to make it worthwhile? Now this is what I call truly universal- is it necessary to attach religion to this one? Yes said the head, because that will make people sit up and take note- the fear of God, as they say. Why asked the heart- can we not all try to become better human beings without the imposition of this fear?
Epics chronicling the births and lives of Gods and Kings and humans and all things living way before our times flashed in my mind- they are rich sources of history and what was then, but what about the ideological conflict? Did the people who chronicle the life and times ever think that their hard work would have a negative impact on the modern world- their descendants? it might lead to dissent or worse?
"It is always easier to recall things and events that happened, and learn from them.... is that it?" asked the heart. "No, silly, it goes much beyond that- knowledge rules, you know." The head believed that compulsion was a necessary input for discipline.Love is food for the soul, the heart said. Eternal love is eternal food,it followed. Love is abstract, the head said. How about some substance, so the epics?
My subconscious was totally puzzled. I clean forgot my coffee... or perhaps it was the chicken soup? Whereabouts will this lead us, I ruminated..... it did not take me long! How do I want to be? How would I interpret spirituality? ....or religion? Would I look at it in isolation from the rest of my life? Or would spirituality be an intrinsic part of everything I do or say? That was a decision I took, while dating my thoughts.
For me, spirituality is a way of life- it is not a list of must dos and must not dos; it is an amiable code of positive conduct which makes me more acceptable to my fellow human beings.
Spirituality is not just religion- it is a code of good conduct which propels an ordinary mortal towards a higher order.
Just how high the order is, I really do not know, but I should try to scale the path honorably is what I believe in.
My life would not be governed by the Gods and the Superhumans, but guided by them all. Each one has something to say- and they being of a higher order than I, there is every reason to listen to them and heed their words and use their advice wherever it applies to my life.Irrespective of where they belong and which religion they profess.
I do not know what lies at the other end- the stories that people write about the afterlife fascinate me- they do not scare me. I am curious, and I certainly do not disbelieve. But do I believe that I need another date with my thoughts to sort out this one!
I want to be a better human being- not really the best, because thats asking too much- there are definitely better people than I!And I look up to them as my role models. I simply want to understand how I can make my sojourn on this earth fruitful.
I have promised my thoughts, another date,and until such time, an effort to action the above.
I start by turning my eyes inwards- what do I see? I see values playing a critical role in achieving all the above- and values across this universe are pretty much the same, irrespective of who has stated them.
I also see selflessness as being a great accelerator.
Empathy can level out a lot of ruffles, I know.
Self motivation will catalyze the process.
And just so that ALL the theories about divinity, and evolution and religion and spiritualism can impact me in a positive way- thats how open my mind should be.
When I get out of this me and mine mode, I then see that there is a God up there, who is way above me and responds to any name that I am comfortable with. He is comfortable with whatever I call him and responds in a way that only a best friend can.
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Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
shocking insight!
For someone so straightforward and not so full-of-frills as Sanjiv, my husband, it was simply a piece of brilliance. He summed up our life together in three basic time frames- the 0-25 years spent with parents, the 25-50 years that we will soon clear with flying colours and the grace of God, and the 50-75 years that we will enter to discover an extended piece of good luck and blessings if we gun for the next term which is 75 and above!
Years 25-50 have simply blinked us by- either we are fiercely in love or we are just not conscious about how time has passed while we have been busy. It is also possible that we do not want to admit that we are growing old! But we cannot have 22 and 20 year old children at 25 can we? Its difficult to find a reason for the fact that we have arrived at the second threshold all too soon…. To my mind it seems that we have been in so many places for short periods of time that we have simply forgotten how to count or keep track of time - had we stayed on in one place perhaps, it would have been different- we would have kept track of time and understood the meaning of living together for 25 years , and bringing up children too. What happened when and how invites the magic answer- we don’t know- it just happened! In bits and pieces, in spurts and jitters, amidst happiness and sorrow, peals and sobs, the years silently slipped by, maybe roared by, time was unobtrusive, always in the background and life seems so short now!And so much to accomplish!
Happiness is what happiness does. It makes me look all fresh and glowing, it makes Sanjiv smile without a reason- seldom have I heard him laughing out loud- when he is really happy he has this full laugh that shows up his perfect teeth so beautifully. Happiness also makes me look at my babies with wonder- are they really mine- these two beautiful specimens of humanity? My eyes cloud over when I am happy- I do so want to cry. For the simple reason that my heart wants to stop and freeze this moment but the moment does not have the time to stop or even heed our call. The moment just goes, and we are lucky to have such precious moments revisit us whenever we start feeling weighed down with the downs!
On why the years have blinked us by, I can attribute another reason- we did not get anything on a plate- we worked towards everything, be it love, wealth, lifestyle, work, whatever….. everything was hard to get, especially the near perfect way we wanted all that everything- it took its time and tried our patience- and the years spent on the effort sped past on wings!
The parting shot to this entire discussion of life in three frames from my really thoughtful husband lingers on in my mind-one of these days I will ask him why he has to dampen my spirits by saying something like the first two frames are near done-the third is about to begin! Well…just for that thought....cheers!
Years 25-50 have simply blinked us by- either we are fiercely in love or we are just not conscious about how time has passed while we have been busy. It is also possible that we do not want to admit that we are growing old! But we cannot have 22 and 20 year old children at 25 can we? Its difficult to find a reason for the fact that we have arrived at the second threshold all too soon…. To my mind it seems that we have been in so many places for short periods of time that we have simply forgotten how to count or keep track of time - had we stayed on in one place perhaps, it would have been different- we would have kept track of time and understood the meaning of living together for 25 years , and bringing up children too. What happened when and how invites the magic answer- we don’t know- it just happened! In bits and pieces, in spurts and jitters, amidst happiness and sorrow, peals and sobs, the years silently slipped by, maybe roared by, time was unobtrusive, always in the background and life seems so short now!And so much to accomplish!
Happiness is what happiness does. It makes me look all fresh and glowing, it makes Sanjiv smile without a reason- seldom have I heard him laughing out loud- when he is really happy he has this full laugh that shows up his perfect teeth so beautifully. Happiness also makes me look at my babies with wonder- are they really mine- these two beautiful specimens of humanity? My eyes cloud over when I am happy- I do so want to cry. For the simple reason that my heart wants to stop and freeze this moment but the moment does not have the time to stop or even heed our call. The moment just goes, and we are lucky to have such precious moments revisit us whenever we start feeling weighed down with the downs!
On why the years have blinked us by, I can attribute another reason- we did not get anything on a plate- we worked towards everything, be it love, wealth, lifestyle, work, whatever….. everything was hard to get, especially the near perfect way we wanted all that everything- it took its time and tried our patience- and the years spent on the effort sped past on wings!
The parting shot to this entire discussion of life in three frames from my really thoughtful husband lingers on in my mind-one of these days I will ask him why he has to dampen my spirits by saying something like the first two frames are near done-the third is about to begin! Well…just for that thought....cheers!
Monday, October 18, 2010
when i get a comment....
I smile with anticipation when I see that someone has read my blogpost, because when I am actually putting up a new post, I am all apprehensive etc about what the reader will think about it. I do so want to state my honest opinion and not write something which prompts public approval And I look forward to a comment at the end.... and when I get a comment it helps me understand perspectives better. It shows me a whole new viewpoint to whatever I may have expressed. Thank you for all the comments- just keep them coming!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Mango Party!
Every year around the middle of June, our grandfather would send a wooden crate of dusseri and chausa mangoes from Lucknow and every year we would throw a mango party!
It was a much awaited event in our social circle and we would have two sets of people joining in- early evening 5 pm onwards, our friends, and after 7.30 pm, their parents and more of my parents friends. When will the mangoes arrive, used to be the most frequent question June onwards. Each time someone asked, my father's chest would swell with filial pride and he would talk like a true Lucknawi about how authentic and genuine the mangoes from Lucknow are, and how the researchers were messing around with look alike hybrids etc etc. All true and very very disturbing to the generation who have inherited mango orchards (aam ke baagh) and who are selfishly aristocratic in their fetish for asli dusseri and asli chausa!
So the crate(there were no cartons or fresh fruit boxes, those days) would arrive by post and we would call up our father and wait for him to come home and pry open the wooden lid with a pair of pincers or screwdriver. The mangoes would be packed in real straw, not paper straw or moulded cases or styrene covers. The fragrance would be so heady, ripe mangoes and straw, and the entire house would start smelling! Then we would count because we had to be certain that the entire lot had reached us- there were stories about how wooden boxes with goodies could be opened en route and part contents could be taken away!It used to take at least 5-6 days for the mangoes to reach from Lucknow to Jabalpur.
The mangoes would be hot after their journey in the parcel van of the Mail train, and we would take them out with great reverence, grade them according to their extent of ripeness, and then start planning the party.
At the party, mangoes would be served with cream, and also ice cream. Our mother would cook up an entire spread of various kinds of chaat and sandwiches, chips and soft drinks would be ordered and the mango party would happen. The cutting of the mangoes was exclusively our fathers job; no one could cut fruit better than papa and he seemed to enjoy doing it.
Often, for a first time invitee, the mango party was intriguing. Every party has to have a reason- so they would think we are not telling them its someone's birthday. We would tell them that in our family, birthday parties are strictly not by invitation, but they would still come with a gift- maybe a box of chocolates! That would be our bonus, and my sister and me would keep discussing what was inside the wrapper till the party got over. My brother was too young to be involved- he used to be busy doing things like jumping from the verandah just because his girlfriend told him to (when he did this jumping, he was four and his girlfriend was seven- she promised him a rose if he jumped; and he jumped and landed on his face!)
So the mango party would happen and then we all would raise a toast to the next year- this was a party by invitation only!And an organized one at that! Right from the mangoes coming from Lucknow to the maid washing the dishes, it was all well planned and executed!
The good times!
It was a much awaited event in our social circle and we would have two sets of people joining in- early evening 5 pm onwards, our friends, and after 7.30 pm, their parents and more of my parents friends. When will the mangoes arrive, used to be the most frequent question June onwards. Each time someone asked, my father's chest would swell with filial pride and he would talk like a true Lucknawi about how authentic and genuine the mangoes from Lucknow are, and how the researchers were messing around with look alike hybrids etc etc. All true and very very disturbing to the generation who have inherited mango orchards (aam ke baagh) and who are selfishly aristocratic in their fetish for asli dusseri and asli chausa!
So the crate(there were no cartons or fresh fruit boxes, those days) would arrive by post and we would call up our father and wait for him to come home and pry open the wooden lid with a pair of pincers or screwdriver. The mangoes would be packed in real straw, not paper straw or moulded cases or styrene covers. The fragrance would be so heady, ripe mangoes and straw, and the entire house would start smelling! Then we would count because we had to be certain that the entire lot had reached us- there were stories about how wooden boxes with goodies could be opened en route and part contents could be taken away!It used to take at least 5-6 days for the mangoes to reach from Lucknow to Jabalpur.
The mangoes would be hot after their journey in the parcel van of the Mail train, and we would take them out with great reverence, grade them according to their extent of ripeness, and then start planning the party.
At the party, mangoes would be served with cream, and also ice cream. Our mother would cook up an entire spread of various kinds of chaat and sandwiches, chips and soft drinks would be ordered and the mango party would happen. The cutting of the mangoes was exclusively our fathers job; no one could cut fruit better than papa and he seemed to enjoy doing it.
Often, for a first time invitee, the mango party was intriguing. Every party has to have a reason- so they would think we are not telling them its someone's birthday. We would tell them that in our family, birthday parties are strictly not by invitation, but they would still come with a gift- maybe a box of chocolates! That would be our bonus, and my sister and me would keep discussing what was inside the wrapper till the party got over. My brother was too young to be involved- he used to be busy doing things like jumping from the verandah just because his girlfriend told him to (when he did this jumping, he was four and his girlfriend was seven- she promised him a rose if he jumped; and he jumped and landed on his face!)
So the mango party would happen and then we all would raise a toast to the next year- this was a party by invitation only!And an organized one at that! Right from the mangoes coming from Lucknow to the maid washing the dishes, it was all well planned and executed!
The good times!
I never had a birthday party
I never had a birthday party- never an organized one- the kind one goes for, when a friend has a birthday. Book a venue, order a cake, send out invitations!
(yes, we had that way back when I was a kid and theme parties at clubs and hotels were possible... though we did not have a Pizza Hut or a Party station with all the pizzas and the gadgetry, but we could have the themes!and the good food)
So while most of my friends in school would look forward to their birthday party and think about where and how, I used to just sit around idly, for the pleasure would never be mine.
There is a very different reason for me or my siblings never having an organized birthday party. When I say 'organized', please note it will prolly be the most important clue to understanding how we actually celebrated our birthdays!
First of all, on why we never had an organized birthday party. Our parents were well off, they had a rocking social circle, they used to host many parties, dinners, card parties, the works, but never a birthday party. They had the uncanny feeling that it would bring us bad luck, even death. As was their nature and their habit of waxing exuberant with their emotions and their money, they told me they had thrown a lavish birthday party for their son, older than all of us, and he passed away soon after. Since then, as I was born, and after me, my sister and brother, they tried to stay off everything they had done for their first son. And we lived in the hollow of their palms till we grew up and if our parents had their way, they would still be holding our hand and leading us safely. A small scrape on my knee while playing basket ball would drive them into a tizzy! When on such occasions, I used to look into my father's eyes, I could see his fear of losing his precious daughter; and now I understand why- then, I was so young and so stupid, I used to mistake it for just orthodox possessiveness, you know.
So we grew up and while we learnt to socialize and circulate, and our parents learnt to let go and have faith in God, we still could not organize a birthday party. But, on our birthday we would wake up to delicious smells of baking and Indian cooking, which our parents would be doing for our friends who would come in unannounced later in the evening and stay back for our unorganized party. Those days, we used to remember dates and phone numbers- our memories were bigger and better then, and there were no digital diaries or mobile phones to store these or send out e cards or MMS.
So our friends would remember and troop in, dressed in party clothes and then we would ask them to stay and then the cake and the food would surpass any organized effort we could have made.
Often, friends we had not met for years would just remember and come by- and there always was cake and food for them too!
While we knew they all were coming, we pretended they were not invited, and while we got ready for them, we pretended we were not ready!
So we grew up, every birthday being an unorganized party, but a rocking one!AND DID WE LOVE IT!
(yes, we had that way back when I was a kid and theme parties at clubs and hotels were possible... though we did not have a Pizza Hut or a Party station with all the pizzas and the gadgetry, but we could have the themes!and the good food)
So while most of my friends in school would look forward to their birthday party and think about where and how, I used to just sit around idly, for the pleasure would never be mine.
There is a very different reason for me or my siblings never having an organized birthday party. When I say 'organized', please note it will prolly be the most important clue to understanding how we actually celebrated our birthdays!
First of all, on why we never had an organized birthday party. Our parents were well off, they had a rocking social circle, they used to host many parties, dinners, card parties, the works, but never a birthday party. They had the uncanny feeling that it would bring us bad luck, even death. As was their nature and their habit of waxing exuberant with their emotions and their money, they told me they had thrown a lavish birthday party for their son, older than all of us, and he passed away soon after. Since then, as I was born, and after me, my sister and brother, they tried to stay off everything they had done for their first son. And we lived in the hollow of their palms till we grew up and if our parents had their way, they would still be holding our hand and leading us safely. A small scrape on my knee while playing basket ball would drive them into a tizzy! When on such occasions, I used to look into my father's eyes, I could see his fear of losing his precious daughter; and now I understand why- then, I was so young and so stupid, I used to mistake it for just orthodox possessiveness, you know.
So we grew up and while we learnt to socialize and circulate, and our parents learnt to let go and have faith in God, we still could not organize a birthday party. But, on our birthday we would wake up to delicious smells of baking and Indian cooking, which our parents would be doing for our friends who would come in unannounced later in the evening and stay back for our unorganized party. Those days, we used to remember dates and phone numbers- our memories were bigger and better then, and there were no digital diaries or mobile phones to store these or send out e cards or MMS.
So our friends would remember and troop in, dressed in party clothes and then we would ask them to stay and then the cake and the food would surpass any organized effort we could have made.
Often, friends we had not met for years would just remember and come by- and there always was cake and food for them too!
While we knew they all were coming, we pretended they were not invited, and while we got ready for them, we pretended we were not ready!
So we grew up, every birthday being an unorganized party, but a rocking one!AND DID WE LOVE IT!
Monday, August 30, 2010
disclaimers
I am going to start this one with disclaimers... they usually come at the end,but I am covering myself amply! So read on!
All references are to an abstract entity- I am still finding out what! They have no relationship to anything I know....
Khelo? Jeeyo? Hey ho? I went across to the search engine to find out the meaning. And in the process also to connect with the esoteric lyrics; I am a commoner!
And there were people who said this is a chinese invasion. Others said they wanted the british raj back! Yet others said this is a class apart. And more said that they would rewrite history.... or did they say that this is history rewritten?
Tongue in cheek and finger on my lips, I just read- and tried to figure out what they are talking about, why they are talking about...
When I understand and am able to form my own opinion, I will come back- watch out sometime soon!
All references are to an abstract entity- I am still finding out what! They have no relationship to anything I know....
Khelo? Jeeyo? Hey ho? I went across to the search engine to find out the meaning. And in the process also to connect with the esoteric lyrics; I am a commoner!
And there were people who said this is a chinese invasion. Others said they wanted the british raj back! Yet others said this is a class apart. And more said that they would rewrite history.... or did they say that this is history rewritten?
Tongue in cheek and finger on my lips, I just read- and tried to figure out what they are talking about, why they are talking about...
When I understand and am able to form my own opinion, I will come back- watch out sometime soon!
Monday, August 23, 2010
the too late factor
All I am trying to say is, make a decision before its too late!
What could have been, 20 years ago, is actually very different when revisited and reviewed after 20 years. What you thought 20 years ago maybe very different from the way you think about 20 years ago, now.See the difference- you thought- you think- separated by 20 years of experience!
Along the way for those 20 years, there have been a number of impacts and influences that may have changed the way you think now - gestalt i think we call it in psychology, when an analysis or decision or impression is influenced by things which have happened around the decision maker or in the immediate environs....
So think forward more often than backward and do what you think is right at the moment with, at best a medium term view or bias- don't think too long term.... unless there is a mathematical exponent to the exercise.
Too much deliberation often leads to stagnation.You get pulled back by the past, and weighed down by the uncertainties of the future.And at times, it maybe too late!
Of course, you must learn to differentiate between the imperative and the non imperative and accordingly procrastinate a decision or review the past. For me, a career decision is imperative while buying clothes is often non imperative. It can be too late to decide on a career move, though it may never be too late to buy clothes....NO, this sounds flippant. I have different rules for the imperative and the non imperative, actually.
I think what I am trying to put forward here is that priortising the action is often the key to optimal action planning. Your career decision comes first, and buying clothes comes way below- they are two ends of the scale, I think. So do not be too late to make a decision about your career; clothes can wait!
Coming back to 'the too late factor', to sum it in one line, do not let any past experiences or future influences impact your decision in such a way and for so long that it becomes too late for the decision to be meaningful.
What could have been, 20 years ago, is actually very different when revisited and reviewed after 20 years. What you thought 20 years ago maybe very different from the way you think about 20 years ago, now.See the difference- you thought- you think- separated by 20 years of experience!
Along the way for those 20 years, there have been a number of impacts and influences that may have changed the way you think now - gestalt i think we call it in psychology, when an analysis or decision or impression is influenced by things which have happened around the decision maker or in the immediate environs....
So think forward more often than backward and do what you think is right at the moment with, at best a medium term view or bias- don't think too long term.... unless there is a mathematical exponent to the exercise.
Too much deliberation often leads to stagnation.You get pulled back by the past, and weighed down by the uncertainties of the future.And at times, it maybe too late!
Of course, you must learn to differentiate between the imperative and the non imperative and accordingly procrastinate a decision or review the past. For me, a career decision is imperative while buying clothes is often non imperative. It can be too late to decide on a career move, though it may never be too late to buy clothes....NO, this sounds flippant. I have different rules for the imperative and the non imperative, actually.
I think what I am trying to put forward here is that priortising the action is often the key to optimal action planning. Your career decision comes first, and buying clothes comes way below- they are two ends of the scale, I think. So do not be too late to make a decision about your career; clothes can wait!
Coming back to 'the too late factor', to sum it in one line, do not let any past experiences or future influences impact your decision in such a way and for so long that it becomes too late for the decision to be meaningful.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Go right each time!
This is not academic- nor am I trying to create a thumb rule. I am just talking through experience, which has taught me to think inwardly in order to convince myself before getting into any activity whatsoever.
The document relates to three kinds of marketing and communication tools
1. Events
2. Promos
3. Public Relations
It deals with the following must dos:
• Rationalize participation
• Clarify objective
• Select occasions
• Judge impact on the brand through the exercise
• Analyse what participation entails
• Examine cost benefit analysis
• Necessitate and work out accurate logistics
• Stress on perfect coordination with various participants/stakeholders, both internal and external
• Ensure post analysis right after
The post analysis forms the most important part of any activity - is it worth a repeat? What did we gain by it?
The entire set of guidelines is in the form of questions you ask yourself before taking a plunge- with some advantages and limitations whenever required - it is totally hands on, and covers from concept to execution.
There is one aspect that we constantly need to bear in mind while using these communication tools. They will never be used in isolation, or under ideal situations. Other things will also never remain the same- it is a dynamic situation.
So we must ensure that there is harmony, and cohesion- we must never stray from the broad objective for that period. We can certainly use more than one tool or all tools at a time.
EVENTS
• Rationalize participation
Is this what we really need at this time?
Does this address my target audience?
Is the timing right?
Does it conflict with any other activity I am doing?
Are my partners trustworthy- organisers and suppliers?
• Clarify objective
What am I trying to achieve with this event?
Am I looking at an event with mass appeal, or am I looking at niched TA?
Am I trying to build brand with this activity?
Either ways, am I confident that it is in line with my objective?
If I put myself in my customers’ shoes, do I think I will like the experience?
If no, then, what shall we do to make it appealing, and objective driven?
Can we talk to the organizers to modify it?
What kind of spend am I looking at?
• Select occasions / events which are identifiable with the brand
Does this event tie in with my brand personality?
Are my brand values reflected in this activity?
Who are the other participants?
How has competition responded to the proposal that the organizer may have presented to them?
Do I want to be seen with the other brands which are a part of this exercise?
If not, can I not wait for another more befitting event to come my way, or else, create one?
• Judge impact on the brand through the exercise
Will this impact my brand favourably?
With which other brands would I be rubbing shoulders?
Are they of good stature and reputation?
Are there any conflicting brands?
What status does my brand have in the event?
Am I being seen in the right forum?
What is it that is making my participation different from others?
• Analyse what participation entails
How much money would I be spending?
What am I getting in return?
Can I look at this as a PR opportunity?
Will I be able to mobilize internal resources for this activity- are they not tied up elsewhere?
Have I checked with other participating departments on their consent and help?
• Examine cost benefit analysis
Basis the money I am spending, am I getting the mileage?
What am I gaining- market share, revenues, acquisition, retention, visibility, image, brand salience, or what?
• Necessitate and work out accurate logistics
Have I detailed out every task in the process note and run it through all departments which will be taking part in this exercise?
Have I modified it according to their inputs?
Have I nominated the team leader and the team?
Am I working with an event agency?
If I am, have I seen and approved all communication material material for the event?
• Stress on perfect coordination with various participants/stakeholders, both internal and external
Have I taken approval for budgets and concept before going ahead?
Have I made my points amply clear to the organizers as well as to my team members?
Am I clear about the operational details and logistics? Have I closed all gaps?
Have I documented the details, and stated specific instructions?
Am I briefed on the progress by the team leader or first person responsible at predecided intervals?
• Post analysis
Did the event go off well?
How was the branding onsite?
How were the media releases?
Was it executed to perfection as per plan?
If not, what were the gaps?
Whom did the gaps impact?
Did our TA turn up?
Was it received well by the TA?
Was the event the talk of the town?
Coverage in news papers?
What can I recommend to make it better and more effective?
Can we do this sort of activity again?
ADVANTAGES
Events provide high brand visibility
They are capable of providing value plus to the existing service if handled well
They are a sought after tool for customer satisfaction, esp here in Gujarat.
LIMITATIONS
Impact of any event on TOMs is very shortlived
It is expensive, and requires massive logistics and coordination
It never translates into direct sales- always has an intangible impact
PROMOTIONS
• Rationalize participation
Is the market ready to accept a promotion?
Will it impact my bottomline favourably?
Is the market stable/unstable?
Will my promo stand out, or will it be lost in the clutter?
What is the nature of the promo I want to do?
What is our business objective?
Is the promo helping me realize the business objective?
• Clarify objective
What am I looking for- acquisition, retention, revenue growth through enhanced usage, or all?
What is the target category I am looking at? Customers ( what segment, i e youth, corporates, general, etc) / channel?
What is the percentage enhancement in revenues/user base that I hope to achieve through this promo?
• Select occasions
Is another partner with a similar target audience available for a tie up?
Or am I looking at a price driven promo?
How can we create a win win situation?
What is competition doing?
Can I create a ripple with a bang on idea, as against following the market trend?
Do I have the capacity to think out of the box?
Will the partners, beneficiaries be happy with this promo?
Will it induce them to buy, or be more loyal to us?
• Judge impact on the brand through the exercise
How will this promo help me in enhancing brand recall?
Will it tie in with my brand values- e g the good life?
• Analyse what participation entails
What kind of monies are available for this promo?
Can I run this promo on this money without cutting corners?
Are my partners reliable?
Have I worked out sound logistics ?
Is this exercise mutually beneficial- or is my partner twisting my arm?
• Examine cost benefit analysis
Basis the money I am spending, are my returns assured?
Is the investment of mandays justified?
• Necessitate and work out accurate logistics
Have I clearly defined content and activity, broken up into tasks?
Have I defined a team, and each member’s responsibility?
Have I got due approval from the heads?
Have I ensured feedback system so critical for the promo?
• Stress on perfect coordination with various participants/stakeholders, both internal and external
Have I taken approval for budgets and concept before going ahead?
Have I made my points amply clear to the organizers as well as to my team members?
Am I clear about the operational details and logistics? Have I closed all gaps?
Have I documented the details, and stated specific instructions?
Am I briefed on the progress by the team leader or first person responsible at predecided intervals?
• Post analysis right after
By how much did sales increase with the promo? Did we meet with our projections?
Was the execution glitch free?
Did we have the support of all participants?
Can we evaluate the feedback qualitatively?
Could we capture customer profiles in order to assess the quality of participation?
Did the market compare simultaneous promos from competitors?
Can we modify the promo to make it more effective?
Can we run a similar promo again?
ADVANTAGES
A well executed promo has the capacity to enhance sales substantially
It is a controlled exercise, and therefore execution can be optimized
LIMITATIONS
The prevalent trend of BOGOF (buy one get one free), freebies, etc has spoilt the market, exhorting customers to ask for more each time
Excessive promotions may cheapen the product
Also, promos with lesser brands may also position our product in the wrong perspective
Logistics need to be very clearly defined in order to make the promo successful
PUBLIC RELATIONS ( Essentially media outreach. Here, we deem media as important influencers)
• Rationalize participation
What is it that we can say to our stakeholders through a public relations exercise?
Will it impact my organisation’s image favourably?
Do I have a set of key messages for sharing with media?
Do they embody the business objectives, the core values, the desired positioning, the brand personality, attributes?
Will my key message stand out, or will it be lost in the clutter?
What is the kind of media I am looking for and why?(There are wire services, mainlines, business dailies, vernaculars, lifestyle media, corporate magazines, news magazines, periodicals, entertainment, fashion, technology journals in print media. There are similar segments in broadcast and electronic media too)
• Clarify objective
Why do I want a PR exercise?
Is it a major corporate announcement, a product launch, senior appointments, financial news, strategic alliances, an update, a CEO visit, what?
What is the target category of media I am looking at, corresponding with my needs?
What do I want to tell them? ( Each of the occasions demands a set of focused messages, with the common key messages’ thread running through in terms of core values, brand personality, desired positioning and customer orientation)
• Select occasions
Is it fair to have a press conference for this announcement?
Or will a media briefing of select journalists do?
Perhaps we can just get away with two or three good detailed interviews and a statewide/national press release to all others?
Or simply a press release?
What does my agency say?
Have they prepared a briefing dossier for the occasion
Is this news good for the public?
Will they receive it well?
What is it that will make them sit up and say wow!?
How can I build it up to make it more value loaded?
I have to deliver whatever is announced - is that possible?
• Judge impact on the brand through the exercise
How will this PR exercise help me in enhancing brand equity?
Will the readers respond with queries, interest in the announcement?
• Analyse what participation entails
Who will be the spokesperson?
How will we prepare him with statements and usable data?
What are the salient points that the spokesperson needs to know?
Are we doing a presentation to media?
Will we encourage a Q & A? On phone or e mail?
What is the PR Agency’s role?
• Examine cost benefit analysis
The monies involved are negligible except when we have a press conference
Is the PR Agency worth their retainer?
• Necessitate and work out accurate logistics
Have I clearly defined content and activity, broken up into tasks?
Have I defined a team, and each member’s responsibility?
Have I got due approval from the heads?
Have I briefed participating teams? (esp Customer Care who get a lot of calls whenever any announcements are made)
Have I ensured a coverage tracking system with the agency?
• Stress on perfect coordination with various participants/stakeholders, both internal and external
Have I taken approval for budgets before going ahead?
Have I briefed the PR Agency thoroughly?
Have I made my points amply clear to the agency and to my team members?
Am I clear about the operational details and logistics? Have I closed all gaps?
Have I documented the details, and stated specific instructions?
Am I briefed on the progress by the agency or first person responsible at predecided intervals?
• Post analysis right after
What was the coverage we received?
What media covered us?
Was it in line with the nature of the news we disseminated ?
How was the (KMD) key message delivery?
Have I created a spreadsheet to capture coverage details?
Has the agency proactively faxed me the coverage daily?
Has the agency followed up for staggered coverage?
Have I ultimately got a compiled dossier for records of the activity?
ADVANTAGES
Focussed messaging results in enhancing brand equity, building positive public opinion, and desired image building
Press release coverage should necessarily coincide with the advt campaign, to make the entire communication very effective
Editorial coverage serves as an endorsement which an advertisement can never do
Public Relations esp media relations touch the stakeholders directly, making the interaction more meaningful
Media are important influencers and can create positive hype when handled expertly
LIMITATIONS
Often, media tends to distort facts, create sensations- we need to be very careful about our media interaction
The media spokesperson in every organization needs to be clear and crisp, with all media interactions planned well in advance, and statements vetted internally before giving it to press
The entire exercise needs to be balanced, an overdose can be lethal( take the case of Microsoft where every small movement was reported because of their flamboyance, and public opinion impacted negatively)
STEPS FOR SUCCESSFUL EXECUTION OF AN IDEA
Generate idea
Discuss with carefully selected external partners / agency if any on the possibility- broach cautiously
Throw it open for internal discussion (mktg) through a preliminary concept note
Take inputs, refine, create detailed concept note with budgets
Talk internally with participating divisions, e g Technical, IT, Product, F & A, Customer Care, etc to check on possibility of system support, F & A intervention
Flesh out the concept, create detailed note for approval, complete with team, responsibilities, process, financial implications, timelines.
Seek approval of Department Heads
Assign responsibilities, update schedules, WIP meetings, create formats.
Proceed as per timelines, coordinate with each team member on progress
Keep participating partners in the loop
Complete execution
Create summary report
Create detailed report with analyses and recommendations
The document relates to three kinds of marketing and communication tools
1. Events
2. Promos
3. Public Relations
It deals with the following must dos:
• Rationalize participation
• Clarify objective
• Select occasions
• Judge impact on the brand through the exercise
• Analyse what participation entails
• Examine cost benefit analysis
• Necessitate and work out accurate logistics
• Stress on perfect coordination with various participants/stakeholders, both internal and external
• Ensure post analysis right after
The post analysis forms the most important part of any activity - is it worth a repeat? What did we gain by it?
The entire set of guidelines is in the form of questions you ask yourself before taking a plunge- with some advantages and limitations whenever required - it is totally hands on, and covers from concept to execution.
There is one aspect that we constantly need to bear in mind while using these communication tools. They will never be used in isolation, or under ideal situations. Other things will also never remain the same- it is a dynamic situation.
So we must ensure that there is harmony, and cohesion- we must never stray from the broad objective for that period. We can certainly use more than one tool or all tools at a time.
EVENTS
• Rationalize participation
Is this what we really need at this time?
Does this address my target audience?
Is the timing right?
Does it conflict with any other activity I am doing?
Are my partners trustworthy- organisers and suppliers?
• Clarify objective
What am I trying to achieve with this event?
Am I looking at an event with mass appeal, or am I looking at niched TA?
Am I trying to build brand with this activity?
Either ways, am I confident that it is in line with my objective?
If I put myself in my customers’ shoes, do I think I will like the experience?
If no, then, what shall we do to make it appealing, and objective driven?
Can we talk to the organizers to modify it?
What kind of spend am I looking at?
• Select occasions / events which are identifiable with the brand
Does this event tie in with my brand personality?
Are my brand values reflected in this activity?
Who are the other participants?
How has competition responded to the proposal that the organizer may have presented to them?
Do I want to be seen with the other brands which are a part of this exercise?
If not, can I not wait for another more befitting event to come my way, or else, create one?
• Judge impact on the brand through the exercise
Will this impact my brand favourably?
With which other brands would I be rubbing shoulders?
Are they of good stature and reputation?
Are there any conflicting brands?
What status does my brand have in the event?
Am I being seen in the right forum?
What is it that is making my participation different from others?
• Analyse what participation entails
How much money would I be spending?
What am I getting in return?
Can I look at this as a PR opportunity?
Will I be able to mobilize internal resources for this activity- are they not tied up elsewhere?
Have I checked with other participating departments on their consent and help?
• Examine cost benefit analysis
Basis the money I am spending, am I getting the mileage?
What am I gaining- market share, revenues, acquisition, retention, visibility, image, brand salience, or what?
• Necessitate and work out accurate logistics
Have I detailed out every task in the process note and run it through all departments which will be taking part in this exercise?
Have I modified it according to their inputs?
Have I nominated the team leader and the team?
Am I working with an event agency?
If I am, have I seen and approved all communication material material for the event?
• Stress on perfect coordination with various participants/stakeholders, both internal and external
Have I taken approval for budgets and concept before going ahead?
Have I made my points amply clear to the organizers as well as to my team members?
Am I clear about the operational details and logistics? Have I closed all gaps?
Have I documented the details, and stated specific instructions?
Am I briefed on the progress by the team leader or first person responsible at predecided intervals?
• Post analysis
Did the event go off well?
How was the branding onsite?
How were the media releases?
Was it executed to perfection as per plan?
If not, what were the gaps?
Whom did the gaps impact?
Did our TA turn up?
Was it received well by the TA?
Was the event the talk of the town?
Coverage in news papers?
What can I recommend to make it better and more effective?
Can we do this sort of activity again?
ADVANTAGES
Events provide high brand visibility
They are capable of providing value plus to the existing service if handled well
They are a sought after tool for customer satisfaction, esp here in Gujarat.
LIMITATIONS
Impact of any event on TOMs is very shortlived
It is expensive, and requires massive logistics and coordination
It never translates into direct sales- always has an intangible impact
PROMOTIONS
• Rationalize participation
Is the market ready to accept a promotion?
Will it impact my bottomline favourably?
Is the market stable/unstable?
Will my promo stand out, or will it be lost in the clutter?
What is the nature of the promo I want to do?
What is our business objective?
Is the promo helping me realize the business objective?
• Clarify objective
What am I looking for- acquisition, retention, revenue growth through enhanced usage, or all?
What is the target category I am looking at? Customers ( what segment, i e youth, corporates, general, etc) / channel?
What is the percentage enhancement in revenues/user base that I hope to achieve through this promo?
• Select occasions
Is another partner with a similar target audience available for a tie up?
Or am I looking at a price driven promo?
How can we create a win win situation?
What is competition doing?
Can I create a ripple with a bang on idea, as against following the market trend?
Do I have the capacity to think out of the box?
Will the partners, beneficiaries be happy with this promo?
Will it induce them to buy, or be more loyal to us?
• Judge impact on the brand through the exercise
How will this promo help me in enhancing brand recall?
Will it tie in with my brand values- e g the good life?
• Analyse what participation entails
What kind of monies are available for this promo?
Can I run this promo on this money without cutting corners?
Are my partners reliable?
Have I worked out sound logistics ?
Is this exercise mutually beneficial- or is my partner twisting my arm?
• Examine cost benefit analysis
Basis the money I am spending, are my returns assured?
Is the investment of mandays justified?
• Necessitate and work out accurate logistics
Have I clearly defined content and activity, broken up into tasks?
Have I defined a team, and each member’s responsibility?
Have I got due approval from the heads?
Have I ensured feedback system so critical for the promo?
• Stress on perfect coordination with various participants/stakeholders, both internal and external
Have I taken approval for budgets and concept before going ahead?
Have I made my points amply clear to the organizers as well as to my team members?
Am I clear about the operational details and logistics? Have I closed all gaps?
Have I documented the details, and stated specific instructions?
Am I briefed on the progress by the team leader or first person responsible at predecided intervals?
• Post analysis right after
By how much did sales increase with the promo? Did we meet with our projections?
Was the execution glitch free?
Did we have the support of all participants?
Can we evaluate the feedback qualitatively?
Could we capture customer profiles in order to assess the quality of participation?
Did the market compare simultaneous promos from competitors?
Can we modify the promo to make it more effective?
Can we run a similar promo again?
ADVANTAGES
A well executed promo has the capacity to enhance sales substantially
It is a controlled exercise, and therefore execution can be optimized
LIMITATIONS
The prevalent trend of BOGOF (buy one get one free), freebies, etc has spoilt the market, exhorting customers to ask for more each time
Excessive promotions may cheapen the product
Also, promos with lesser brands may also position our product in the wrong perspective
Logistics need to be very clearly defined in order to make the promo successful
PUBLIC RELATIONS ( Essentially media outreach. Here, we deem media as important influencers)
• Rationalize participation
What is it that we can say to our stakeholders through a public relations exercise?
Will it impact my organisation’s image favourably?
Do I have a set of key messages for sharing with media?
Do they embody the business objectives, the core values, the desired positioning, the brand personality, attributes?
Will my key message stand out, or will it be lost in the clutter?
What is the kind of media I am looking for and why?(There are wire services, mainlines, business dailies, vernaculars, lifestyle media, corporate magazines, news magazines, periodicals, entertainment, fashion, technology journals in print media. There are similar segments in broadcast and electronic media too)
• Clarify objective
Why do I want a PR exercise?
Is it a major corporate announcement, a product launch, senior appointments, financial news, strategic alliances, an update, a CEO visit, what?
What is the target category of media I am looking at, corresponding with my needs?
What do I want to tell them? ( Each of the occasions demands a set of focused messages, with the common key messages’ thread running through in terms of core values, brand personality, desired positioning and customer orientation)
• Select occasions
Is it fair to have a press conference for this announcement?
Or will a media briefing of select journalists do?
Perhaps we can just get away with two or three good detailed interviews and a statewide/national press release to all others?
Or simply a press release?
What does my agency say?
Have they prepared a briefing dossier for the occasion
Is this news good for the public?
Will they receive it well?
What is it that will make them sit up and say wow!?
How can I build it up to make it more value loaded?
I have to deliver whatever is announced - is that possible?
• Judge impact on the brand through the exercise
How will this PR exercise help me in enhancing brand equity?
Will the readers respond with queries, interest in the announcement?
• Analyse what participation entails
Who will be the spokesperson?
How will we prepare him with statements and usable data?
What are the salient points that the spokesperson needs to know?
Are we doing a presentation to media?
Will we encourage a Q & A? On phone or e mail?
What is the PR Agency’s role?
• Examine cost benefit analysis
The monies involved are negligible except when we have a press conference
Is the PR Agency worth their retainer?
• Necessitate and work out accurate logistics
Have I clearly defined content and activity, broken up into tasks?
Have I defined a team, and each member’s responsibility?
Have I got due approval from the heads?
Have I briefed participating teams? (esp Customer Care who get a lot of calls whenever any announcements are made)
Have I ensured a coverage tracking system with the agency?
• Stress on perfect coordination with various participants/stakeholders, both internal and external
Have I taken approval for budgets before going ahead?
Have I briefed the PR Agency thoroughly?
Have I made my points amply clear to the agency and to my team members?
Am I clear about the operational details and logistics? Have I closed all gaps?
Have I documented the details, and stated specific instructions?
Am I briefed on the progress by the agency or first person responsible at predecided intervals?
• Post analysis right after
What was the coverage we received?
What media covered us?
Was it in line with the nature of the news we disseminated ?
How was the (KMD) key message delivery?
Have I created a spreadsheet to capture coverage details?
Has the agency proactively faxed me the coverage daily?
Has the agency followed up for staggered coverage?
Have I ultimately got a compiled dossier for records of the activity?
ADVANTAGES
Focussed messaging results in enhancing brand equity, building positive public opinion, and desired image building
Press release coverage should necessarily coincide with the advt campaign, to make the entire communication very effective
Editorial coverage serves as an endorsement which an advertisement can never do
Public Relations esp media relations touch the stakeholders directly, making the interaction more meaningful
Media are important influencers and can create positive hype when handled expertly
LIMITATIONS
Often, media tends to distort facts, create sensations- we need to be very careful about our media interaction
The media spokesperson in every organization needs to be clear and crisp, with all media interactions planned well in advance, and statements vetted internally before giving it to press
The entire exercise needs to be balanced, an overdose can be lethal( take the case of Microsoft where every small movement was reported because of their flamboyance, and public opinion impacted negatively)
STEPS FOR SUCCESSFUL EXECUTION OF AN IDEA
Generate idea
Discuss with carefully selected external partners / agency if any on the possibility- broach cautiously
Throw it open for internal discussion (mktg) through a preliminary concept note
Take inputs, refine, create detailed concept note with budgets
Talk internally with participating divisions, e g Technical, IT, Product, F & A, Customer Care, etc to check on possibility of system support, F & A intervention
Flesh out the concept, create detailed note for approval, complete with team, responsibilities, process, financial implications, timelines.
Seek approval of Department Heads
Assign responsibilities, update schedules, WIP meetings, create formats.
Proceed as per timelines, coordinate with each team member on progress
Keep participating partners in the loop
Complete execution
Create summary report
Create detailed report with analyses and recommendations
Thursday, August 12, 2010
when i get lost!
Hey!
Guess what? we got lost in Bangkok today! and was not nervous.... you know what we did? just went round in a loop turning to the left each time we had to take a call, and returned to where we had started from- finally had to start all over again to reach the destination, but was worth it!
This has always been my mantra- i am quite used to getting lost, but this is how I recover my bearings each time. And the magic solution is not in knowing where to go- but in staying cool and enjoying the ride!
Guess what? we got lost in Bangkok today! and was not nervous.... you know what we did? just went round in a loop turning to the left each time we had to take a call, and returned to where we had started from- finally had to start all over again to reach the destination, but was worth it!
This has always been my mantra- i am quite used to getting lost, but this is how I recover my bearings each time. And the magic solution is not in knowing where to go- but in staying cool and enjoying the ride!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
.........and there are dads
……… and then papa, there are dads,
But none like you…
As every wishful father would have his dear daughter say, for him.
But you are not wishful, not vain, not proud of what you have done for us.
But proud, so proud of what we have done for ourselves….just ourselves
Not even for you- for what have we done for you?
Could not even know that you were going? Never to return?
I had seen you walk down those very steps many times
And I was walking down with you then, and you were seeing me off!
You said good bye to me then? But did you stop me?
Did you ask me to see you off?
I had seen you drive out to work…
I had seen you shut the gate and go for a walk,
But never with the finality …..with which you went that day.
You did not even turn to give us a look! You did not move at all!
Papa,
Did you know it would hurt us, so you never told us?
Did you feel sad about leaving us?
Did you feel nothing while going? I wish you felt happy.
I hope you were happy, detaching yourself from this world so full of maya
Worthless maya, useless emotion
All wasted…. Where are you now?
Hope well …. And happy…..
We want you to be happy always. Always, papa.
We are the proudest children you can imagine
You are a celebration of fatherhood, absolute dedication, papa
And just now, when we see our mother- we see you in her.
Her strength- her bravery, are all your gifts to her.
In her, you live.
And we know you continue to be with her.
But papa, did you really have to go,
To make us realize how much we love you?
But none like you…
As every wishful father would have his dear daughter say, for him.
But you are not wishful, not vain, not proud of what you have done for us.
But proud, so proud of what we have done for ourselves….just ourselves
Not even for you- for what have we done for you?
Could not even know that you were going? Never to return?
I had seen you walk down those very steps many times
And I was walking down with you then, and you were seeing me off!
You said good bye to me then? But did you stop me?
Did you ask me to see you off?
I had seen you drive out to work…
I had seen you shut the gate and go for a walk,
But never with the finality …..with which you went that day.
You did not even turn to give us a look! You did not move at all!
Papa,
Did you know it would hurt us, so you never told us?
Did you feel sad about leaving us?
Did you feel nothing while going? I wish you felt happy.
I hope you were happy, detaching yourself from this world so full of maya
Worthless maya, useless emotion
All wasted…. Where are you now?
Hope well …. And happy…..
We want you to be happy always. Always, papa.
We are the proudest children you can imagine
You are a celebration of fatherhood, absolute dedication, papa
And just now, when we see our mother- we see you in her.
Her strength- her bravery, are all your gifts to her.
In her, you live.
And we know you continue to be with her.
But papa, did you really have to go,
To make us realize how much we love you?
shocking insight!
For someone so straightforward and not so full-of-frills as Sanjiv, my husband, it was simply a piece of brilliance. He summed up our life together in three basic time frames- the 0-25 years spent with parents, the 25-50 years that we will soon clear with flying colours and the grace of God, and the 50-75 years that we will enter to discover an extended piece of good luck and blessings if we gun for the next term which is 75 and above!
Years 25-50 have simply blinked us by- either we are fiercely in love or we are just not conscious about how time has passed while we have been busy. It is also possible that we do not want to admit that we are growing old! But we cannot have 22 and 20 year old children at 25 can we? Its difficult to find a reason for the fact that we have arrived at the second threshold all too soon…. To my mind it seems that we have been in so many places for short periods of time that we have simply forgotten how to count or keep track of time - had we stayed on in one place perhaps, it would have been different- we would have kept track of time and understood the meaning of living together for 25 years , and bringing up children too. What happened when and how invites the magic answer- we don’t know- it just happened! In bits and pieces, in spurts and jitters, amidst happiness and sorrow, peals and sobs, the years silently slipped by, maybe roared by, time was unobtrusive, always in the background and life seems so short now!And so much to accomplish!
Happiness is what happiness does. It makes me look all fresh and glowing, it makes Sanjiv smile without a reason- seldom have I heard him laughing out loud- when he is really happy he has this full laugh that shows up his perfect teeth so beautifully. Happiness also makes me look at my babies with wonder- are they really mine- these two beautiful specimens of humanity? My eyes cloud over when I am happy- I do so want to cry. For the simple reason that my heart wants to stop and freeze this moment but the moment does not have the time to stop or even heed our call. The moment just goes, and we are lucky to have such precious moments revisit us whenever we start feeling weighed down with the downs!
On why the years have blinked us by, I can attribute another reason- we did not get anything on a plate- we worked towards everything, be it love, wealth, lifestyle, work, whatever….. everything was hard to get, especially the near perfect way we wanted all that everything- it took its time and tried our patience- and the years spent on the effort sped past on wings!
The parting shot to this entire discussion of life in three frames from my really thoughtful husband lingers on in my mind-one of these days I will ask him why he has to dampen my spirits by saying something like the first two frames are near done-the third is about to begin! Well…just for that thought....cheers!
Years 25-50 have simply blinked us by- either we are fiercely in love or we are just not conscious about how time has passed while we have been busy. It is also possible that we do not want to admit that we are growing old! But we cannot have 22 and 20 year old children at 25 can we? Its difficult to find a reason for the fact that we have arrived at the second threshold all too soon…. To my mind it seems that we have been in so many places for short periods of time that we have simply forgotten how to count or keep track of time - had we stayed on in one place perhaps, it would have been different- we would have kept track of time and understood the meaning of living together for 25 years , and bringing up children too. What happened when and how invites the magic answer- we don’t know- it just happened! In bits and pieces, in spurts and jitters, amidst happiness and sorrow, peals and sobs, the years silently slipped by, maybe roared by, time was unobtrusive, always in the background and life seems so short now!And so much to accomplish!
Happiness is what happiness does. It makes me look all fresh and glowing, it makes Sanjiv smile without a reason- seldom have I heard him laughing out loud- when he is really happy he has this full laugh that shows up his perfect teeth so beautifully. Happiness also makes me look at my babies with wonder- are they really mine- these two beautiful specimens of humanity? My eyes cloud over when I am happy- I do so want to cry. For the simple reason that my heart wants to stop and freeze this moment but the moment does not have the time to stop or even heed our call. The moment just goes, and we are lucky to have such precious moments revisit us whenever we start feeling weighed down with the downs!
On why the years have blinked us by, I can attribute another reason- we did not get anything on a plate- we worked towards everything, be it love, wealth, lifestyle, work, whatever….. everything was hard to get, especially the near perfect way we wanted all that everything- it took its time and tried our patience- and the years spent on the effort sped past on wings!
The parting shot to this entire discussion of life in three frames from my really thoughtful husband lingers on in my mind-one of these days I will ask him why he has to dampen my spirits by saying something like the first two frames are near done-the third is about to begin! Well…just for that thought....cheers!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
settling down in a new town
....it is difficult. when you go to live in a new town, in a new country, it gets that much more difficult. You carry your best wardrobe only to discover that whatever they wear in that part of the world is missing from your suitcase. Whatever you wear seems so out of context with the way everyone dresses up here. Whatever you are used to eating is not available- and you are trying to get used to the food habits here. Dinner is at 7 p and you feel hungry five hours later if you are awake!
I have gleaned some learnings in the process of having moved some 15 times in 25 years, each time being a total change- jumps from south to north to west to east within the country or without. Living in India for the major part of my life, I am anyway so exposed to dramatic differences in cultures and lifestyles that coming out to another country has been simpler- but the pangs of settling down have been pretty much the same.
This brings me to point number one: a cultural and linguistic orientation is required before the movement, not after or during the settling down. Reasons can be many- suffice to say that pre orientation prepares us better for the movement; we know what to carry, we understand what is expected of us..... and we move with all the requisite paraphernalia in our suitcases.
The other learning is that one should not be hasty in setting up the house- while it may seem as if the house lacks warmth and amiability when its bare with just essentials in place, but for the longhaul, it works out better when you take some time to survey the market since it adds style and class to your effort. And you end up spending the right kind of money than when doing impulse purchases. Emergency shopping should be confined to foodstuffs and basic toiletries and maybe a skeleton kitchen. We have lived out of one room and one kitchen for three months on one occasion when the house leased for us was burgled and we had to take time to locate another suitable flat for ourselves- believe me, it was not a problem at all, though the children were young and needed all the attention... had I set up a full fledged establishment, it would have cost me that much more effort as well as money to relocate to the new flat when we found it.And those days,money was dearer than it is today!
An assessment of the fashion trends is very important when relocating- imagine my chagrin when I was told in Kolkata that i could wear pure silk in the summer too? Hailing from Delhi, where fashions are season driven and increasingly fabric driven, the thought of wearing silk in summer was fashion harakiri!I had arrangd my wardrobe with cottons and organdies in the summer, but the humidity just would not allow me to wear them! And now, as I begin to inhabit Bangkok, I realize that the color black is just not favoured- so I now have to think about revamping my formals.... also the entire dress culture is contrary to the Indian belief of maximalistic(is there a word like that? I like it- its very expressive...) dressing with loud, or maybe elaborate accessories and adornments. Here, i see the need for minimalistic dressing habits due to the weather and the full-day-out lifestyle with people using public transport mostly. Unlike in India, here I find very few overweight people so the need to hide the spare tyres is also not apparent. Its so cool to just walk out in a cotton blouse with a simple short skirt and a smart pair of shoes....so chic, really.
And I am seriously trying to lose weight now... so watch out!
I have gleaned some learnings in the process of having moved some 15 times in 25 years, each time being a total change- jumps from south to north to west to east within the country or without. Living in India for the major part of my life, I am anyway so exposed to dramatic differences in cultures and lifestyles that coming out to another country has been simpler- but the pangs of settling down have been pretty much the same.
This brings me to point number one: a cultural and linguistic orientation is required before the movement, not after or during the settling down. Reasons can be many- suffice to say that pre orientation prepares us better for the movement; we know what to carry, we understand what is expected of us..... and we move with all the requisite paraphernalia in our suitcases.
The other learning is that one should not be hasty in setting up the house- while it may seem as if the house lacks warmth and amiability when its bare with just essentials in place, but for the longhaul, it works out better when you take some time to survey the market since it adds style and class to your effort. And you end up spending the right kind of money than when doing impulse purchases. Emergency shopping should be confined to foodstuffs and basic toiletries and maybe a skeleton kitchen. We have lived out of one room and one kitchen for three months on one occasion when the house leased for us was burgled and we had to take time to locate another suitable flat for ourselves- believe me, it was not a problem at all, though the children were young and needed all the attention... had I set up a full fledged establishment, it would have cost me that much more effort as well as money to relocate to the new flat when we found it.And those days,money was dearer than it is today!
An assessment of the fashion trends is very important when relocating- imagine my chagrin when I was told in Kolkata that i could wear pure silk in the summer too? Hailing from Delhi, where fashions are season driven and increasingly fabric driven, the thought of wearing silk in summer was fashion harakiri!I had arrangd my wardrobe with cottons and organdies in the summer, but the humidity just would not allow me to wear them! And now, as I begin to inhabit Bangkok, I realize that the color black is just not favoured- so I now have to think about revamping my formals.... also the entire dress culture is contrary to the Indian belief of maximalistic(is there a word like that? I like it- its very expressive...) dressing with loud, or maybe elaborate accessories and adornments. Here, i see the need for minimalistic dressing habits due to the weather and the full-day-out lifestyle with people using public transport mostly. Unlike in India, here I find very few overweight people so the need to hide the spare tyres is also not apparent. Its so cool to just walk out in a cotton blouse with a simple short skirt and a smart pair of shoes....so chic, really.
And I am seriously trying to lose weight now... so watch out!
i just cant figure them out!
.... and then I go through all these blogs - the popular ones more than others. I think I have gotten left behind- I am unable to figure them out- they are too involved, multi faceted and so rich in content- i am simply overawed and feel totally illiterate!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
25 years ago............
This is different. I am enjoying it. It is different in that when 25 years ago, we tried to shop, we just couldnt make ends meet- either what we were looking for was beyond reach; or what was available as not what we were looking for- there seemed no meeting point of our desires and our means. And to top it all, more than one opinion had to be respected- so we ended up buying blue when I liked yellow, and steel when I could have done better with teflon! Yes, that was the time we had gotten married and were setting up house with our early earnings and lots and lots of opinions and guidance. Did we have a mind of our own? Yes, we did, but we dared not use it any more than absolutely necessary!
Not so, this time. Though we are again setting up house, this is different. We have just walked into another country, actually drifted into another country with approx 700 kgs of belongings, which include clothes, exactly 12 covers for meals, three nonstick frying pans and two pressure cookers! And some decorative crystal and brassware tops the list. Yes, agreed, clothes make the bulk of the consignment, but then thats our passion!
So, as you have guessed, we are spending our weekends exploring the malls and supermarkets here - the pleasure of buying pots and pans and most of all, well designed boxes(be it the super quality tupperware, or the run of the mill polysets), defies description! There is the added advantage of enhanced money in hand as compared to 25 years ago- so decision making is largely dependent on what we like- not how much it will cost! And there is a wider choice available, as compared to 25 years ago- lots more to choose from..... my husband and I sit and think about the satisfaction of reviewing the first lap or segment of our life together- the phase during which we had the children, they grew up, went to school, went into professional college, and now are following their respective careers- during this entire two decades, all I asked for, was direction which would lead us all to our respective goals.
So this is the next lap - where we start with buying pots and pans and other better things for the house in which just the two of us will live- children will be frequent visitors and will now set up their own homes- and we will visit them sometimes. When we set up house 25 years ago, we set it up thinking about the time we will have the children.....
I love this "next lap" coz it takes us back 25 years and makes us feel all fresh and ready to start again! And makes us feel as if the first day of those 25 years was just yesterday!
Not so, this time. Though we are again setting up house, this is different. We have just walked into another country, actually drifted into another country with approx 700 kgs of belongings, which include clothes, exactly 12 covers for meals, three nonstick frying pans and two pressure cookers! And some decorative crystal and brassware tops the list. Yes, agreed, clothes make the bulk of the consignment, but then thats our passion!
So, as you have guessed, we are spending our weekends exploring the malls and supermarkets here - the pleasure of buying pots and pans and most of all, well designed boxes(be it the super quality tupperware, or the run of the mill polysets), defies description! There is the added advantage of enhanced money in hand as compared to 25 years ago- so decision making is largely dependent on what we like- not how much it will cost! And there is a wider choice available, as compared to 25 years ago- lots more to choose from..... my husband and I sit and think about the satisfaction of reviewing the first lap or segment of our life together- the phase during which we had the children, they grew up, went to school, went into professional college, and now are following their respective careers- during this entire two decades, all I asked for, was direction which would lead us all to our respective goals.
So this is the next lap - where we start with buying pots and pans and other better things for the house in which just the two of us will live- children will be frequent visitors and will now set up their own homes- and we will visit them sometimes. When we set up house 25 years ago, we set it up thinking about the time we will have the children.....
I love this "next lap" coz it takes us back 25 years and makes us feel all fresh and ready to start again! And makes us feel as if the first day of those 25 years was just yesterday!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
letter to my father
Dear papa,
whwile you were here with all of us, we were too busy chasing our rainbows. Now that you have gone away somewhere, we do not know where, we find that we are increasingly missing you. For every small thing I want to tell you just like I used to, but I dont know how to... papa, are you listening?
Today is a proud day in my life- you would always tell me about how we all grow up and find our own lives and make it worth our while. What you never told me was that for every thing we do to be successful, there is a learning that we have learnt with our parents sometime, without realizing it. I realize it now, and when I want to hug you and say a real thank you, I dont know where to reach you, papa. You have been so self effacing always, papa, i think its been unfair- I wish you had asserted yourself some so that we could realize this precious learning and could have had the time to hug you for everything- but you just went on giving; with no expectation.And then one day, just went away so out of reach.... just a whiff of fragrance somewhere or a sound note reverberation in the air......
whwile you were here with all of us, we were too busy chasing our rainbows. Now that you have gone away somewhere, we do not know where, we find that we are increasingly missing you. For every small thing I want to tell you just like I used to, but I dont know how to... papa, are you listening?
Today is a proud day in my life- you would always tell me about how we all grow up and find our own lives and make it worth our while. What you never told me was that for every thing we do to be successful, there is a learning that we have learnt with our parents sometime, without realizing it. I realize it now, and when I want to hug you and say a real thank you, I dont know where to reach you, papa. You have been so self effacing always, papa, i think its been unfair- I wish you had asserted yourself some so that we could realize this precious learning and could have had the time to hug you for everything- but you just went on giving; with no expectation.And then one day, just went away so out of reach.... just a whiff of fragrance somewhere or a sound note reverberation in the air......
Monday, May 17, 2010
mom
Mom
One word-mother,
Means the world to me.
All that is soft and beautiful means you, mother.
When I hide my face in your shoulder; and it is soft as a feather
.....and hard as a rock...and firm ...and steady ...
I wonder what makes it so?
And then I know- its soft with all the love you have,
And hard with all the strength you give,
And firm with the commitment that makes me so proud
Of you, mother.
And then I look at your hands.
Working hands, that have held me in the hollow of their palms
And even now, reach out to soothe me...when I feel blue.
You still touch me like I were...
A newborn.
Fragile, like china!
Tenderly, you look at me when you want to say something and I do not have time to listen.
Yes, mother, I can see you deep inside, wondering sometimes,
Whether this wild, independent and outspoken woman in front of you
Is really your little baby, so soft, so gentle, once upon a time?
Mom, People grow up, and become themselves.
But moms will always be moms, mother.
And babies love their moms, mother,
Just like we love you.
One word-mother,
Means the world to me.
All that is soft and beautiful means you, mother.
When I hide my face in your shoulder; and it is soft as a feather
.....and hard as a rock...and firm ...and steady ...
I wonder what makes it so?
And then I know- its soft with all the love you have,
And hard with all the strength you give,
And firm with the commitment that makes me so proud
Of you, mother.
And then I look at your hands.
Working hands, that have held me in the hollow of their palms
And even now, reach out to soothe me...when I feel blue.
You still touch me like I were...
A newborn.
Fragile, like china!
Tenderly, you look at me when you want to say something and I do not have time to listen.
Yes, mother, I can see you deep inside, wondering sometimes,
Whether this wild, independent and outspoken woman in front of you
Is really your little baby, so soft, so gentle, once upon a time?
Mom, People grow up, and become themselves.
But moms will always be moms, mother.
And babies love their moms, mother,
Just like we love you.
Monday, May 3, 2010
losing my father......?
I still have not been able to believe that I will not see my father again- its been three years when we all saw him off on his final journey, but even now, I find him all around me- this is a comforting feeling, but not real- I know it, but dont know what to do about it.
I can hear him telling me what to do when I am confused.... I can sense his displeasure when I do something he never liked.
I find him often helping us out of problems- guiding us when its time to take a call.
I went fishing the other day; and while three times I could feel the tug at the bait at the end of my fishing line, I could catch no fish. I could hear him telling me that this is how it has to be- the three fish had been waiting for me to come by and feed them, though my intention was different, my karma willed otherwise.
When our driver ran away with over Rs 10000 in debt he owed us, I was so much at peace because he seemed to find out and tell me that is was a karmic debt paid off finally- I felt lighter, better, releived.
So tell me- how can I believe that I do not have my father around?
I can hear him telling me what to do when I am confused.... I can sense his displeasure when I do something he never liked.
I find him often helping us out of problems- guiding us when its time to take a call.
I went fishing the other day; and while three times I could feel the tug at the bait at the end of my fishing line, I could catch no fish. I could hear him telling me that this is how it has to be- the three fish had been waiting for me to come by and feed them, though my intention was different, my karma willed otherwise.
When our driver ran away with over Rs 10000 in debt he owed us, I was so much at peace because he seemed to find out and tell me that is was a karmic debt paid off finally- I felt lighter, better, releived.
So tell me- how can I believe that I do not have my father around?
My new dress?
The inevitable dress...............
With winter came the fabric,
Of fine wrinkles and delicate lines, woven together,
Laced with the glow of maturity and grace- and the warm winter fabric enveloped me.
I saw them come,
And in my mind, in anticipation, I saw them retracing with the onslaught of high summer,
When I have seen my body shine with the sweat of toil....
Smooth, wet arms and hot shining cheeks have often embarrassed me
To know what people think ........their minds wander.
But these wrinkles, the couture of the worldly wise,
They mitigate the voyeuristic thoughts that shining cheeks may prompt
And give existence a whole new meaning.
So then, I wait, still for summer to come and drive them away,
The wrinkles I mean;
And once more give me the thrill of shining cheeks and lustily wet arms.
Some stay with me- perhaps they are in love with me already;
Some try to hide, while some actually disappear until the next winter
But I do not miss them..... i wish them far away, never to return.
But they come, and each time, they love me more
Till they take me over, engulf me with open arms
And become mine forever.
With winter came the fabric,
Of fine wrinkles and delicate lines, woven together,
Laced with the glow of maturity and grace- and the warm winter fabric enveloped me.
I saw them come,
And in my mind, in anticipation, I saw them retracing with the onslaught of high summer,
When I have seen my body shine with the sweat of toil....
Smooth, wet arms and hot shining cheeks have often embarrassed me
To know what people think ........their minds wander.
But these wrinkles, the couture of the worldly wise,
They mitigate the voyeuristic thoughts that shining cheeks may prompt
And give existence a whole new meaning.
So then, I wait, still for summer to come and drive them away,
The wrinkles I mean;
And once more give me the thrill of shining cheeks and lustily wet arms.
Some stay with me- perhaps they are in love with me already;
Some try to hide, while some actually disappear until the next winter
But I do not miss them..... i wish them far away, never to return.
But they come, and each time, they love me more
Till they take me over, engulf me with open arms
And become mine forever.
Friday, March 12, 2010
email forwards
verbose email forwards just get my goat! Each time I go to my respective emailboxes to start with some constructive work, I get so entangled with the emails in my box that the bright idea for constructive work takes a back seat and I am left reading the so many really verbose emails which either promise me the moon, or ask me to make a wish, or threaten me with dire consequences if I do not forward it to ten, twenty, thirty of my best friends. It is also in fashion to forward emails with compassionate pleas for money to cure illnesses- it shows up the kind side of somebody, on paper, oops sorry, the laptop screen! There are group emails where one has to sign and say I endorse- where the endorsement leads to, I have never known.....
Also received an email about how people impersonate or put up false identities on the social networking sites and use genuine information thus gathered from unsuspecting networkers, to commit crime- kill, rob, kidnap.... oh my god!
Then there was this email I received some five times telling me I have won a lottery from some Lottery Board which has totally eluded my intelligence- I have yet to find out lots of things about it- but I know that I have won some few million pounds because my email id has been selecetd!!!! In fact I have been asked to remit money for couriering the cheque!!!!ha ha!
Will this stop? Can I report this? To whom?
The Net, initially hailed as a medium of communication is fast degenerating into a con medium- we have to stop it!And we have to stop these email forwards which result in waste of productive time and effort!
Also received an email about how people impersonate or put up false identities on the social networking sites and use genuine information thus gathered from unsuspecting networkers, to commit crime- kill, rob, kidnap.... oh my god!
Then there was this email I received some five times telling me I have won a lottery from some Lottery Board which has totally eluded my intelligence- I have yet to find out lots of things about it- but I know that I have won some few million pounds because my email id has been selecetd!!!! In fact I have been asked to remit money for couriering the cheque!!!!ha ha!
Will this stop? Can I report this? To whom?
The Net, initially hailed as a medium of communication is fast degenerating into a con medium- we have to stop it!And we have to stop these email forwards which result in waste of productive time and effort!
Friday, January 22, 2010
fog! no snow thank God!
When we know that the fog is going to be bad, why dont we do something about it?
The flights are late, the trains are indefinitely late; its difficult to see where our car is headed- or who is headed into our car....
Thank God we dont have snow in most of India- otherwise we would be a Nation paralysed!
The flights are late, the trains are indefinitely late; its difficult to see where our car is headed- or who is headed into our car....
Thank God we dont have snow in most of India- otherwise we would be a Nation paralysed!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
just a recipe! Submarinesque.
OK, so here is a discovery I made- one of the most submarinesque snacks you ever saw- so I have named it Submarinesque.....
Take ten mushrooms- cut them into four pieces each. take two whole spring inions and cut them into one inch lengths
Take two medium sized tomatoes and cut them in quarters
Add one carrot, cut into one centimeter square pirces
Add one centimeter square pieces of cottage cheese-100 gms
Take a spoon of butter and saute all the above on very high heat- add pepper and salt to taste.
Once all the water content has burnt up over the high heat, keep it aside.
Take a loaf of garlic bread or any unsliced baker's bread- slit it horizontally down the middle; put pizza spread or salsa (whichever is available in your kitchen) on the bread and then layer the sauteed mix- put the top of the loaf to cover fully, like a sandwich.
Wrap in foil and bake at 180 degrees fahrenheit for 20 minutes.
Non vegetarians can add chicken tikka or shredded salami for taste.
Just try it- tastes so good!
Take ten mushrooms- cut them into four pieces each. take two whole spring inions and cut them into one inch lengths
Take two medium sized tomatoes and cut them in quarters
Add one carrot, cut into one centimeter square pirces
Add one centimeter square pieces of cottage cheese-100 gms
Take a spoon of butter and saute all the above on very high heat- add pepper and salt to taste.
Once all the water content has burnt up over the high heat, keep it aside.
Take a loaf of garlic bread or any unsliced baker's bread- slit it horizontally down the middle; put pizza spread or salsa (whichever is available in your kitchen) on the bread and then layer the sauteed mix- put the top of the loaf to cover fully, like a sandwich.
Wrap in foil and bake at 180 degrees fahrenheit for 20 minutes.
Non vegetarians can add chicken tikka or shredded salami for taste.
Just try it- tastes so good!
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